Shaarei Tzedek - Orthodox Judaism in Downtown Toronto

By: Rabbi David Lapin, (iawaken.org)

The Talmud Tractate, Kidushin, opens with the three actions that transact a legal marriage: Kesef, Shetar and Biah.  This is not merely a statement of legalities but also an indication of the three pillars of an ongoing successful relationship: Value (kesef) means material generosity particularly by a man to his wife, documentation (shetar) signifies verbal communication, and intimacy (Biah), refers to a healthy and nourishing physical relationship.  A relationship weak in any of these three areas will wobble.

The Talmud extrapolates Kesef from Sedei Efron (the fields purchased by Avraham for the burial of Sarah). We can have a long discussion about the different dimensions of this linkage. But, one dimension jumps out at us from the pages of the torah portion: It’s tragically through the burial of Sarah that Avraham seems to reach the peaks of his passion for a wife whose beauty he never fully recognized in their lifetime. “Aishet Chayil” (woman of valor) was composed by Avraham at his wife’s graveside! The first and only piece of land that Avraham ever possessed in Israel (and for that matter the first piece of land that any Jew ever possessed in Israel) was the Me’arat Hamachpeilah. At Sarah’s burial, Avraham discovers his passion and connects with his land.

What is the connection between land, burial and marital passion?

In life, we are mobile.  Not only do our minds and imaginations travel, but so do our bodies.  We are free to move constantly and continuously.  We adventure and we explore. We conquer and we possess. That is the nature of Man: Melech poreitz geder – kings break barriers.  But there is another point in the polarity of human existence: home, connectedness, attachment, intimacy.  That is the quality of Woman: Kevod bat melech penimah – a princess’ honor is manifest in her home.  There is a tension between those poles: the masculine dynamic of adventure and conquest, and the feminine quality of connectedness and intimacy.  In death, those polar dynamics find peace. With the capacity of mobility removed from a person, he has no choice but to connect to one piece of land for the rest of eternity, his grave.  It is in the grave that man and woman find a connectedness that is void of all tension.  They connect to the land.  They connect to each other:  the Talmud (in Tractate Bava Batra) talks of an Amorah (sage) who encountered Eliyahu at the entrance to the Me’arat Hamachpeilah. He asked Eliyahu what Avraham was doing at that moment. “He is lying in Sarah’s arms”’ Eliyahu answered, “and she is caressing his head.”

I am not romanticizing death!  My point is only that the Mars/Venus tensions between the outward dynamic and the inward one, conquest and mastery vs. connectedness and intimacy, is intrinsic to the lifetime of a successful relationship. Neither of those dynamics can be denied or ignored.  Both need to be valued and embraced. When the woman loses her power of intimacy and “home” or the man his drive for conquest, mastery and adventure, the relationship will lack its needed polarity.  However, equally when a woman is unable to participate in adventure or a man is unable to engage in intimacy, the relationship is equally doomed. She attracts him inward, he propels her outward. That is the energy of their togetherness.

When Avraham had to find a final resting place for Sarah, he confronted the need for permanent connectedness to the earth, to a place, a final home, and he was confronted with the full blown recognition of her powers of intimacy. She had always valued his vision, his drive and his ideological conquests. He never fully valued her connectedness. Now he mourned her in a deep and heart-rending way.

Only in the grave, when adventure is no longer an option, can man and woman find peace between their opposite forces.  In life they are forever energized by the polarity of their living tensions.

Two astronauts land on Mars. Their mission: to check whether there is oxygen on the planet.

“Give me the box of matches,” says one. “Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens.”

He takes the box, and is ready to strike a match when, out of the blue, a Martian appears waving all his arms… “No, no, don’t!”

The two guys look at each other, worried. Could there be an unknown explosive gas on Mars? Still, he takes another match… and…

A crowd of hysterical Martians is coming, all waving their arms:

“No, no, don’t do that!”

One of the astronauts says, “This looks serious. What are they afraid of?”

“Nonetheless, we’re here for Science, to know if man can breathe on Mars”.

So he strikes a match — which flames up, burns down, and…. nothing happens.

So he turns to the Martians and asks, “Why did you want to prevent us from striking a match?”

The leader of the Martians says, “It’s Shabbes you idiot!”

Parshat Vayeira, 5768

© Rabbi David Lapin, 2007 (iawaken.org)

Natural Law and Miracles

Every Jew, every descendant of Avraham, can himself or herself be above the forces of nature, and experience miracles. This is so even though most of the time most of us are subject to the general trends of the world and to the programs of the universe. Hashgacha Prattit (Hashem’s personal attention and protection) is individually focused on us only at critical moments in our lives. For the rest of the time, unless we are one of the pious few, we are subject to the natural laws of the universe. This is the bold view of the Ramban on Bereishit 18:19.

The Ramban makes this statement as he interprets why Hashem bestowed his abundant blessing on Avraham more than on anyone else. In verse 18:19 of our Parsha, Hashem states his reason:”Ki Yeda’ativ etc - for I have known him [Avraham] that he will instruct his family and descendants in Hashem’s ways”. Targumei Onkelos and Yonatan, and Rashi give different interpretations.

Divine Omniscience and Free Will

Onkelos translates “Ki Yeda’ativ - I have known” as: “it is revealed before me”. G-d’s knowledge, referred to in this verse, means His omnsience. G-d gave His magnificent blessings to Avraham because he foresaw that Avraham would instruct his descendants in the ways of Hashem. Even at this relatively early stage of Avraham’s journey, G-d already knows that he will raise his children and guide his descendants in Torah[1]. G-d’s omniscience however, of G-d does not diminish Avraham’s bechira chofshit (free choice). G-d’s ever-clear knowledge of the future patterns of our lives, does not limit our freedom of choice. One word in the Targum Yonatan translation clarifies this tension between G-d’s omniscience and our free will.

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By Naftali Silberberg, (via chabad.org)

Is it possible to achieve a moral and ethical society while leaving G‑d out of the equation? Many today maintain that not only is this eminently possible, but morality which is not predicated on religion is a far better alternative to ethics that stem from blind adherence to a particular canon. The human heart, they argue, inherently possesses a moral compass. Religion all too often warps this inborn sense of right and wrong, and is simply another outdated device that enlightened societies can do without.

To address this issue, we must first take a brief dip into the deep waters of human psychology and anthropology. What indeed is the source of the natural moral compass, and why do certain people seem to lack this quality? And how is it that a creature which is naturally selfish, motivated above all by self preservation and aggrandizement, should also be naturally kind and concerned for the welfare of others?

An analysis of those people who engage in cruel and oppressive acts clarifies the issue. As a rule, these are people who are in power who torment the helpless — tyrants bullying their victims, a nation’s ruling ethnic group persecuting a weak minority, soldiers on the battlefield viciously mistreating their enemy, or, to a lesser degree, politicians corruptly misusing their office. In all instances, the oppressors are confident in their power and positions, and feel themselves to be immune from retribution, certain that their victims can never repay them in kind.

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By Simon Jacobson (www.meaningfullife.com)

Abraham, “father of all nations,” was the first true pioneer. He stood up to an entire selfish world and trail blazed a spiritual path to life, forever changing history. It was Abraham’s embrace of a higher set of values of love, generosity and service that forged the standard for the basic human rights that we take today for granted.

What was Abraham’s secret? What shaped this man? From where did he derive the power and courage to defy the tide of his times? How can we emulate Abraham and acquire his courage in our own lives?

This week’s Torah portion tells the story of Abraham. And it can be summed up in the concise words of the Mishne: “Our father Abraham was tested with ten challenges, and he withstood them all – to indicate how great was our father Abraham’s love” (Ethics of the Fathers 5:3).

[The standard translation of “nisyonos” in this statement is “tests” or “trials.” But perhaps “challenges” is a more accurate and appropriate translation. Linguists of the world: Please weigh in].

Why did Abraham need to be tested? G-d must have known that Abraham had unique qualities and that he would withstand the trials; why was it necessary to actually put Abraham through the difficulties he endured? Does every man of faith need to be challenged?

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© Rabbi David Lapin, 2007 (www.iawaken.org)

Learning Values

Derech Erettz Kadmah LeTorah (Derech Eretz precedes the Torah) means a whole lot more than that being a “Mentch” is a precondition to Torah observance. It means that Torah has a context. Torah does not exist in isolation. Derech Eretz is its context.

Derech Eretz means more than being a “mentch”. Derech Eretz means a value system, a style of behavior that a person can figure out themselves without having to consult an Halachik text. And herein lies the problem:

I am currently engaged in a consulting project to a wonderful orthodox girl’s high school in the U.S. In the process of researching, teachers in the general st udi es faculty made an interesting but worrying observation. When they try to help the students articulate and explain their own (the students’) value systems, they mostly find them quoting from Torah sources without having integrated it into there own values and principles. The students have Torah knowledge, but do they have Derech Eretz, that wholesome sense of values that people need to have, independently of Torah sources.

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By Yosef Y. Jacobson (Algemeiner.org)
The Nucleus of Civilization

More than three millennia ago, Judaism understood that the battle for society began at the home. The family – not the synagogue, not the university, not the market place, not the battlefield — was the nucleus of civilization.

“Tell it to your child,” Moses keeps on telling the Israelites in the Bible. The Torah understood that it is in the home – in the loving, nonjudgmental, and warm embrace of the home, “the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule” (as a wise man once remarked) – where the future of humanity is created.

We are well aware today of how much of the psychological, emotional and spiritual turmoil in our lives can be traced back to dysfunctional homes. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion,” Ashleigh Brilliant once remarked. Our problems, at least many of them, arise out of the homes in which we develop our primal identities and relationships. If there is to be reformation, if there is to be a change, if there is to be redemption, it must begin in the home. It is here that truth is learned, that integrity is cultivated, that self-discipline is instilled, that love is nurtured and that a vision for a liberated future is ingrained.

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© Rabbi David Lapin, 2007 (iawaken.org)

To change yourself, judge yourself more than you love your self. To change others, love them more than you judge them!

He was concerned about the future of the planet. He foresaw ever-worsening climatic conditions that could result in an environmental catastrophe capable of eliminating all life on earth. He tirelessly warned people, he pleaded with people. His name was Noach. He was not heard, nor was he awarded a Nobel Prize.

Noach and Al Gore are both communicators of inconvenient truths. Why was the one mocked while the other receives a Nobel Prize? Gore’s call to action is primarily around man’s use of technology. Our mindless use of technology is destroying the very environment that nourishes us and protects us. By modifying the way we harness the forces of technology, we can save the planet, argues Gore. Noach’s message on the other hand was a different one. He asked people to change their conduct, their moral standards, and their ethics. People understand the causal relationship between carbon emissions and global warming, but they do not understand the causal relationships between immoral behavior and environmental chaos. Al Gore presents his case with scientific data. In the world of spirituality there is no scientific data, only the intuitive knowledge of what is right. Prophets can rant and rave about the ill effects of people’s behavioral choices on society, but unless people feel the truth of that message in their guts, they will not respond. A case for the linear cause and effect of carbon emissions on global warming presented as brilliantly as Al Gore’s, will convince people of the need for change far more easily than Noach’s sermons.

Interestingly, although Noach’s message was by its nature and its content an unpopular one, he is still criticized by Chazal for having been ineffective in bringing about any change at all in his society. He saved no one but his own family. Twice in the first verse of the Parsha, Rashi brings Noach’s character flaws to our attention. Once by quoting the view[1] that although Noach stood out for his righteousness in his own generation, he would have been insignificant in Avraham’s generation. The second by alluding to Avraham’s capacity for independent righteous thought and action compared to Noach’s need for moral support.

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There’s no such thing as defeat.

There’s always another chance. To believe in defeat is to believe that there is something, a certain point in time that did not come from Above.

Know that G-d doesn’t have failures. If things appear to worsen, it is only as part of them getting better. We only fall down in order to bounce back even higher.

A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman

By: Rabbi David Lapin, iawaken.org

The Divine Aroma of the Barbeque

In Parshat Noach we encounter the first reference to a sacrifice as having an aroma that is pleasing to G-d. This idea will be repeated many times in the Torah, but never looses its strangeness. What pleasure does G-d find in the barbeque aroma of a ritualistic sacrifice?

In this case of the first sacrifice brought after the flood, the Midrash [1] says that G-d “smelled” in Noach’s sacrifices the aromas of Avraham and of Chanania, Misha’el and Azaria (all later cast into fiery furnaces for their belief in G-d and miraculously saved). Let’s take a pathway through some Kabalistic thought as we try to gain meaningful insight into these unusual comments.

Fragrance, Scorpio, the Month of Cheshvan and the letter ‘Nun”

The Sefer Yetzira [2] in assigning the letters of the alphabet to various parts of The Creation mysteriously says:

“He made the letter ‘nun’ king over fragrance and tied a crown to it. Joining them (‘nun’ and its crown) together, He formed Scorpio in the Universe and the month of Cheshvan in the calendar, and the intestine in the souls of male and female”.

The ‘Nun’ and the crown: The Shem Mishmuel [3]brilliantly explains the SeferYetzirah: ‘Nun’ represents the idea of ‘nefilah’ (downfall, destruction). It is because of this negative connotation of the letter ‘nun’, that unlike all the other letters of the alphabet, ‘nun’ does not open a line of the Ashrei Psalm. The crown represents the future, power and vitality; the very opposite of downfall. Yet G-d ties those opposites together.

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